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Allow me to introduce myself; I am King Arthur of Notalot. I am master of my domain, slayer of dragons, ruler of islands, and leader of knights, I also moonlight cutting corners off tables.

I search for a damsel to distress. Things aren't the same at the castle; rumor has it that dragons are now extinct.

We've found the Holy Grail, the Huns are now our best friends, and PETA is getting on our case about riding horses with all that heavy armor. But I come not here to tell you the problems of the kingdom, but to invite you into it. I have waited long for the maiden to become my queen.

I am a handsome king, or at least my subjects tell me so for fear of their lives, and I would treasure the verbal jousting of a maiden with wit. I have searched patiently, but a good queen is hard to.

Even a visiting princess to share the company of a meal would be welcome. I ask not perfection; for I know that is a standard I could never meet.

I only ask for an open heart and mind, and the desire to love and be loved. Until we meet again for the first time Gallops off into the sunset on his white horse.

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